drive

I'm sure her baby will drive someday, but probably always on the "wrong" side. And certanily not at 20 months old. 

violate crib safety standards

Two golf clubs, three pillows, a mailbox, book, bottle, and a hard hat.  No way would the palace let that fly.

get this kind of welcome to the family

I've got to think there will be a Lord or Lady or a responsible adult of some kind around to prevent this from happening to her baby.  Oh well.  This was how my Hugh welcomed his little sister home from the hospital.  Three years later, not much has changed.